Monday, December 31, 2012

New Years Resolutions and Book Resolutions

I love the goals you've been posting!! Keep it up! Here's mine: Get back to a regular writing/blogging/reading schedule while handling the kiddos. 

NOW as to book resolutions. I'm sure you've read as many series as I have if you read YA. I love them because if I care about a character, I don't want that character to disappear after one book. But I also can't deny that there's a beauty to a complete book. I'm thinking of ones like THE REPLACEMENT for example. As a matter of fact there have been many books lately - beautifully written books that I absolutely adore - that frustrate me at the end because I'm supposed to wait for the next installment, like the old Buck Rogers series. I like my books, even those within a series, to have a good wrap up. A nice finished feeling that leaves me wanting to visit the world again. What do you think? What examples can you think of? 

My best to you in the coming year! Let's enjoy it together *clinks glass*.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Wind Down

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it! 

You've all done a great workout with me! Thanks. And if you didn't squeeze it in, that's okay - you can go back and do it when you're ready. I hope you found some inspiration in there. Today we stretch and wind down so we can spend time with family.

So all I want you to do is write down your next goal. Be specific and positive. Like, "I will write ten chapters by February." Or whatever applies to your situation. Then put it in a place you'll see it often. On the fridge, cork-board, computer background, whatever. 

And one more thing...

RELAX AND HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Pete the Elf

Hi everyone! As you may remember, a few weeks ago PETE the Elf had a touch too much Eggnog at the Holiday Christmas Party and as he stumbled home, he lost Santa's NICE LIST.

The North Wind scattered the papers to all four corners of the world, and The Bookshelf Muse put out a call to help find them in order to SAVE CHRISTMAS.

Ever since I read about it, I've been on the lookout. And then today, EUREKA!

Yes that's right...I found part of Santa's missing NICE LIST. There it was, fluttering in the wind, half caught under the corner of my welcome mat. And shock of all shocks, I recognized the name, and I bet you will too.

Here it is below:



ImageChef.com

NAME: Martina Boone

LOCATION: Adventures in YA and Childrens publishing

NICE LEVEL: 98%

NAUGHTY LEVEL: 2%

OBSERVATIONS: Martina is super talented, intelligent, sweet, funny, honest friend/writer/critique partner/blogger. Could loosen up a bit and drink more prosecco. 

RECOMMENDATION:     a) Coal                   b) Gift

~ ~ * ~ ~

Because poor Pete is dashing all over the place trying to hunt down the rest of Santa's missing Nice List, I decided to take care of this one myself. Martina, I feel so blessed to know you! Enjoy the card I sent to your inbox and have a wonderful Christmas!

How about you, Readers? Is there someone you'd like to say Happy Holidays to, or tell them how much they mean to you? JOIN US! There's plenty of days left until Christmas, and sometimes a kind word can lift people up in a way that they really need. It's as easy as sending a free ecard or email note, posting on a Facebook wall or sending out a tweet. So go ahead and spread some kindness and cheer!
Photo credit:
assorted gold baubles (christmasstockimages.com) / CC BY 3.0

Monday, December 17, 2012

Do the Unexpected

How are you all fairing with our workout? The holidays are in high gear right now, and we're physically working out getting in that last minute shopping, but we can't ignore our writing muscles. 
Last week we wrote the scene that grabbed us. Now we're going to do the scary thing and throw something in the mix. Take whatever part of the book you're working on and add one of the following, then see what happens. Remember you don't have to keep it, but it's a great exercise to test out your characters. We love to torture them!

  • Your character finds out someone close has just died.
  • Your character is injured.
  • The antagonist shows up unexpectedly. 
  • Severe weather interferes (e.g, storm, earthquake, heatwave)
You have to do this exercise the first half of the week, because we're doing double time now that we have our heart rates up. The second exercise is this:

Take another character from the same book and put them in the same situation to see what happens. 

Did you learn something about the other character you didn't know? What did that do to your perspective? I'd love to hear if you found anything interesting from this! Don't be afraid to email me. Good luck!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Cardio for Writers

Today and tomorrow JOURNEYS OF WONDER VOLUME 2 is free on Kindle! Merry Holidays!

So we're all warmed up and stretched! The holidays are approaching. In fact, Chanukah is already here. So let's jump into the meat of it, shall we? If you've done your homework then you have your brain working on different scenarios and hopefully that wonderful imagination of yours is rearing to go. 

Now it's time to work on something that will keep you focused on your story even when visiting Santa at the mall. Whatever your book is - whether you're just starting it or revising - take your favorite scene, you know the one, it's the one that keeps playing in your head, that you know you have to write for this book or work your way to or polish till it shines. That one. Take it and write it. Right now. Out of context, out of order. Just write.

It feels naughty doesn't it? To dive into the whipped cream before the main course? But why not? You can always redo it. In fact, that's your homework. Redo it every day a different way. OR write another favorite scene you see coming. Even if you end up not using it, it will get you in the mood so to speak. It won't take long, and you'll enjoy it. Heck, you might even find yourself working the whole book around it. That's happened to me believe it or not. 


Monday, December 3, 2012

The Warm Up

If you read the blog last week (and did your homework) you're well prepared to get going! Got comfy clothes? Kidding! Any good workout has to start with some stretching and warm up so we don't jump in and hurt ourselves. Writing is no exception. So I want you to do the following exercise. You can do it each day and use a different outcome or you can do it once and jump into something you're dying to start. Think of it as a game. 

 Take the character you created last week and pick one from each of the following categories then write a couple pages. Just write. You don't have to show anyone, just see where it takes you.

World:

  • Deep space
  • Kentucky
  • The Amazon
  • an apartment in New York
Antagonist:
  • An animal
  • A rival at work/school
  • The weather/world itself
  • A psychopath
Goal:
  • Safety
  • Love
  • To retrieve something of value
  • Save a relative
Okay now here's the fun part - don't make it obvious! Mix it up. Have her fight the world itself in an apartment in New York in hopes of retrieving something of value for example. You can mix these up and add your own as the week goes on so you try something new each day. OR you can use the first try to help you in whatever project you're working on now. Your choice. 

Ready? Set. Go!

Monday, November 26, 2012

The Importance of Exercise (in Writing)

Just like our bodies, our writing can benefit from flexing those specialized muscles. Whether you're a published pro or a newbie it doesn't matter. We can ALWAYS improve, and that's exactly what we should strive for. So while we work our way through the holidays and all the temptation (whether the edible kind or the time kind), we're going to focus on some ways to work out that won't take too long and will keep us moving forward. 

Let's start with step one: Preparation

Are you a Plotter? Then you've probably got this covered. But Pantser or Plotter, it doesn't matter, other things and people need your attention and even the best laid plans can fall to the wayside, especially this time of year. But if you make a promise to yourself, if you write it down and plan it out, you can find more time than you thought possible. And since this is an exercise program, let's start with fifteen minutes a day. Can you squeeze that in to improve your writing? I pledge to do it too. So let's work on it together. What do you say? 

Find your calendar and dig out those fifteen minutes. Wake up early, go to bed late, take a shorter lunch, whatever it means. You've already improved, because you've made a commitment to yourself and your writing. Doesn't that feel good? Next Monday we'll get moving and in the meantime I want you to fill in these blanks for next week and those to come. Who's with me? 

Character Name:

Age:

Deepest Desire:

Deepest Fear:

Okay. That's good for now. Baby steps, right? 






Monday, November 19, 2012

Focus on the Positive

It's time to remind ourselves what we're thankful for. Too often we get caught up in the misery of rejection and writer's block and we forget all the wonderful things about writing. 

Here's my list:
  • Writer friends like you
  • chocolate and coffee
  • my laptop (which seems to be surgically attached to my lap)
  • shiny new ideas
  • meeting new characters
  • reading amazing books
  • the occasional "yes"or personalized rejection
  • saying the words "I'm a writer." and meaning it.
Having trouble making your own list? Answer this: Why did you start writing? Tell me in the comments! 

Monday, November 12, 2012

Play Around

So here we are in the middle of Nano. But participating or not, you probably know that feeling where something feels... a bit off. Here's where I have some fun suggestions to play around with until you find the sweet spot. 


  • Try varying the perspective. Is it in first? Try third. Is it past tense? Try present. Try something totally out there for you, this is the right time to do it! No one needs to see it but you, though you never know what you'll find works.
  • Try varying the tone. C. Lee McKenzie had a great post on tone. What feel are you going for? Is it too light for the situation? Too dark? Try playing with the setting and word choices to alter this. But remember to make it consistent in the finished product.
  • Try varying the story. If you're a plotter this might make you uncomfortable. But that's a good thing! Throw something in there that neither you or your character were expecting and see what happens. At the very least it will tell you something about your character you might not have realized. Best case? It makes the book better!
Have any other ways you like to play with first drafts? Share!

Monday, November 5, 2012

No Means Not Yet

Ever been rejected? If not, you aren't a real writer yet. It's part of the job, but that doesn't make it feel any nicer when it happens. Jemi Fraser had a guest post on this last week and it got me thinking. All of those points are valid - especially the one about not flying off the handle and sending back a nasty email. But I feel like "rejection" is the elephant in the room that no one REALLY wants to talk about. But I'm not one to ignore large jungle animals near the sofa.

Rejections suck. They feel personal, possibly more personal when it's a form rejection. We are human, we have to give ourselves permission to feel bad about it. It's OKAY. The tricky part is getting past that. If you can't shrug it off, don't. Just have a piece of chocolate and a pumpkin latte and let it sit for a while. But then you have to ask yourself something:

WHY WAS IT REJECTED?

Was it really not right for that agent or house? This is a serious possibility. But if you've collected more than one rejection and if you are lucky enough to get a note or two on specifics, take a look again. What the rejection might be saying isn't "no" as much as "not yet."

"But I worked super hard on this book!" you might be saying. "I had beta readers and critiquers. I revised six times and it's taken me two years!!!" 

Okay. But maybe, just maybe it's still not quite there yet. Maybe, just maybe it's time to put it in a drawer and write a new book or think about it for a while and tackle it AGAIN. Maybe the seventh time is the right one. 

I guess what I'm saying is don't stop working - keep revising. Go deeper. Make it shinier. But more importantly, NEVER GIVE UP. Even if it means putting that book away until the second or third one is published. Because if you've queried 867 agents and stop? It might have been 868 that said yes. 

Monday, October 29, 2012

Nano No Nos

Quick announcement: Journey's of Wonder Volume one is being offered for FREE download October 29 and 30! 

Okay, Halloween's in a few days - one of my favorite holidays of course. But you know what scares a lot of writers? NANOWRIMO

If you don't know what it is, November is novel writing month where you pledge to write 50,000 words by the end of the month. Check out the link if you're interested and don't be afraid to friend me. 

I love Nano! I revel in getting lost in that initial draft. To me that's the most exciting part of the process. Will I do it this year? I'm going to try, but with the baby it will be challenging. I like challenges. I work well under pressure. And besides, when it's all said and done, I'll have more than I would have if I hadn't attempted it. 

So what are my tips?


  • Write whenever you can. Even it it's for ten minutes it will keep your mind working on the story. 
  • Don't be afraid to put down whatever comes to mind. No one sees it but you, so go back and fix stuff later. It's a computer that counts the words.
  • Don't believe you have a masterpiece. Ok - I mean a FINISHED masterpiece. What Nano leaves you with is a lovely first draft to have fun revising later. 
  • Challenge yourself. It's a great way to let loose without that internal editor getting in the way. JUST WRITE. You'd be surprised at the result. 
  • Make it a priority. Obviously some things come first like family and paychecks, but you know what I mean! 
Have you done Nano before? Planning to do it this year? Why or why not and what are some of your tips?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Show and Tell

Show don't tell! We hear it all the time. But is it true? And what does it mean exactly? What it really says is, "Don't be lazy!" 

Meaning don't say:

Suzie was tired. 

Show us: 

Suzie rubbed at her eyes, trying to focus on the letter, but the soft mattress in the corner kept drawing her attention. 

That was a simple example, but what about when it gets more complicated? Sometimes you have to tell. Sometimes you even have to do both. I've had times when I thought I'd so cleverly (I love to pat myself on the back) shown the MC's feelings when in reality all my betas came back and told me they wanted to know how she/he felt about something that happened. Obviously I wasn't clear enough. So what did I do? Added internal thoughts to the actions. Sometimes even came out and said it.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when deciding how to word things:


  • Was I clear enough with the action alone?
  • Is it important enough of a moment to add thoughts and maybe spend a bit more time showing?
  • If it isn't important, does it slow down the pacing too much to show? Would it flow better to tell?
  • Did adding to it make it redundant? You don't want to repeat yourself or tell the reader you don't trust them to "get" it.
What questions and examples can you add to the list?

Friday, October 19, 2012

Introducing Volume 2!

Look what's now available!

JOURNEYS of WONDER: VOLUME 2

An Anthology of Genre Fiction

Journeys of Wonder: Volume 2 – the second anthology in a series of genre fiction. Quick on the heels of Volume 1 this new volume brings back some favorite authors and introduces a couple of new ones.

Featured in this volume are five incredible tales – each of which will leave you in wonder and amazement.
1. CAL by Lisa Gail Green: A young man challenges his father after falling in love with a cybernetic life form.
2. The Terrible, Perfect Duet by Trysta A. Bissett: Cicadas, insomnia, and high school. What could possibly be more horrifying?
3. Helios by Leslie S. Rose: As humanity flees the wrath of Earth's dying Sun, a daughter's quest to claim her birthright jeopardizes the chance to escape.
4. Encrypted by Ian Kezsbom: Spies. Codes. Murder. A thriller about a man on the run – hiding a secret that others would kill for.
5. Lighting the Sacred Way by S. P. Sipal: Set during the time of the Roman Empire, a woman tries to vanquish the evil spirit residing within her. One that arrived on the day her husband was murdered.
On sale only at Amazon.com! $.99 for a limited time or free through the Amazon Prime lending library!
Visit us at: www.journeysofwonder.com

Monday, October 15, 2012

It's All About Character


Yes, yes, I know, plot is important too. But think about it, why are the popular books popular? Because the readers identify with the hero. Is the hero a vampire, hobbit, or alien? Could be. But that doesn't mean we can't identify. 

No matter what world your story is set in, no matter what situation your character is in, it is the thoughts, feelings, and interactions with others that make the story worth investing time in. Take HP for example. Yes it would be awesome to discover we have wizard powers and can go to Hogwarts, but it's the relationships between Harry and the others that keep us reading. It's wanting to see this likable kid who's had a bad time of it come out on top. 

Can we the readers identify with Harry? Of course! Are we wizards? Did we grow up in a broom cupboard under the stairs? Probably not, but we've sure been the odd man out at times. We know what it's like to be the underdog or feel inadequate or awkward, right? 

When you write, you have to draw on those experiences and emotions you've experienced. Even if say, you're MC happens to be a leprechaun and is facing his worst fear - a wild unicorn, take that time you were five and the giant doberman next door got loose and ran right for you. Then just... extrapolate! That's why we're writers after all. ;D

What identifiable traits does your current MC have? Which MC have you fallen in love with and was it because you were ale to live vicariously and identify? 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Continuing Education Through The Blogosphere

I remember after only one short year of blogging I felt like I had earned a masters degree through self-study online. There was so much information I had to learn I thought I would explode. I continued on that way for quite a while. Then recently something happened. I realized that some "rules" seemed to change. Not hard and fast grammar rules or anything - just style issues that used to make you appear either professional or not. Things like opening with action vs. taking time to get to know your character (preferably you can manage both), or being as brief as possible in a query. 

So what was I to do? 

Granted, these apparent changes aren't always mutually exclusive, but it made me realize something. Things change. Times change. Paranormal, which was hot when I started (lucky for me, right?) is now a hard sell. Who knows? Omniscient might be back in style soon! 

The question became, do I stick to the old ways, being stubborn? Or do I buck up, dive back in and start learning again? 

The answer's obvious, huh? :D Good thing I LOVE learning. 

No matter where you are in the process, never assume you know it all. Because when someone acts like they know it all? I take it with a grain of salt. We can always grow, learn, and improve. That's one of the wonderful things about the craft of writing. 

Share in the comments one new thing you've learned in the last week and check out the other comments!


Monday, October 1, 2012

Unreliable Narrators

First of all, congratulations to the winner of VANQUISHED: Nikkihasabookshelf!

Amy asked a couple of weeks ago to see a post on unreliable narrators and I thought that was a great idea.

First we need to understand what an unreliable narrator is. Does that mean the MC lies? Well, it can. But it can mean more than that as well. No matter who is telling a story, his own perceptions, memories, and feelings will influence what he recalls or even if he recalls what actually happened. So as a writer when I write in first person, I have to find the character's voice and experience everything from her perspective.

What am I saying? Character is everything in this situation. That and filtering through the character's eyes. If your MC is conceited, for example, a great way to show that is to have her make an obviously neutral situation all about her. 

But if you're writing a story that needs an unreliable narrator for plot purposes here are some rules to remember:

  • Don't keep vital information from your readers. That will only frustrate them. That doesn't mean you have to spill everything up front, but don't deliberately keep them out of the loop just so you can surprise them later. Plant clues by making it clear that the narrator may not be trustworthy. Drip in the real info like you do backstory.
  • Stay true to your character. Don't take a truthful MC and suddenly have her lie for no good reason just because you need a way to do something. It's true characters can do surprising things, but if you've done a good job getting into his head, you will also have planted enough info that makes that unconventional act/decision natural and understandable to the reader.
  • Have fun! Unreliable narrators can be a blast to write. It's a great opportunity to exercise that illusive voice. In fact, it's not a bad idea to go ahead and practice just for an exercise. Who knows? Maybe you'll end up falling in love and writing a whole book. ;D
Any other tips? Examples? Share!!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Vanquished

Those that have followed me a while know that I love best selling authors Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie. I've featured the first two books of their Crusade trilogy and now I present the final one - VANQUISHED. Stick around because if you comment you have a chance to win your very own copy courtesy of Simon and Schuster. 

This time I've invited my buddy Harold the werewolf to give us his review of the book. *takes allergy pill* 

Me: Harry - may I call you Harry?

Harold: No. I try to avoid that thank you very much.

Me: Sorry. Um, so what did you think of the book? Was it a fitting end to the trilogy?

Harold: My biggest problem with the first two books was that there was too much focus on the priest/vampire and not enough on the obvious hero - Holgar the werewolf. 

Me: Um, sure. Holgar is an awesome character, but so is Antonio. And Jenn. Well, all of them really. But it's the unattainable love between Antonio and Jenn that make the book. 

Harold: Excuse me, but who's giving this review? You or me? 

Me: *bites lip*

Harold: As I was saying, I was happy to see that Holgar had a decent part in this book along with the other characters. 

Me: Thanks for that review, Harold. Please stop chewing on the armchair.

My opinion? I thought it was an epic ending to an epic series. Nancy and Debbie did a great job switching from one interesting character to another and built up to an ending that deserved the mounting tension in the series. They didn't shy away from difficult subject matter either where it was necessary. Awesome!

Okay - now leave me a comment and I will pick a random winner for the book. Deadline is next week, Sunday. I'll announce the winner on Monday. I like to make it as easy as possible, but even though you don't get extra entries, I'd appreciate you spreading the word! 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Where I've Been

I'm back! Well, getting there anyhow! I hate to ignore my buddies in the blogosphere, but it was worth it. I'd like to introduce you to Annabel, born August 13. She's a real spitfire. I'm overwhelmed, but in the best way possible. I had to compromise because I don't believe in putting my kids' pics online or talking about personal things here. So you have an adorable foot. :D

It's a wonderful thing really, because now I know without a shadow of a doubt I'm doing the right thing by pursuing my love of writing. It was the missing link that brought balance to my life. Now I have a beautiful, albeit fussy, new person to love, but I also know that I don't have to give up on what fulfills me.

You knew I was going to relate this to writing, right? It's a lesson for all of us really. So many things can eat our time and energy (like a newborn baby that doesn't let you sleep). But if it's important enough, you find a way. Don't give up. Even if you're sidetracked for a while. Keep at it. Because if it's as important to you as it is to me, it's worth it. 

Ironically I won't be able to comment for a couple of days due to the Jewish New Year. Those of you who celebrate it - happy Rosh Hashanah! Those of you who don't, to quote Arnold - I'll be back! And be sure to come back next week for a giveaway and review you won't want to miss.

Monday, September 10, 2012

How Do You Choose a Narrator? Guest Post from Sarah Skilton


I'm so happy to have the amazing Sarah Skilton on my blog today answering Julie Musil's question:

Who is the narrator of your story, and how did you decide?

Thanks for having me at your blog, Lisa! This was a terrific question for me to get, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to answer it.

In BRUISED, my contemporary Young Adult novel, the narrator is 16-year-Imogen, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do who freezes up at an armed robbery and is left to wonder if martial arts failed her or she failed it.
  
To tell this particular story, my narrator couldn't be anyone else. Imogen is defined -- and more importantly, defines herself -- by her all-encompassing love of martial arts. When I'm writing, I ask myself, "What's the worst thing that could happen to this particular person?" If you don't write about the worst thing that could happen, you may lose the chance to push your characters to their limits in terms of drama and storytelling. Who wants to read about an event that doesn't affect the narrator very much, or change him or her in some way? If it doesn't affect the lead character – really affect them – it won't affect the reader, either.

Because Imogen's identity is so wrapped up in her martial arts abilities, her failure to use those abilities when it really matters destroys her in a way it wouldn't destroy someone else, someone who hasn't spent the last six years training four times a week and dreaming of opening her own martial arts school one day.

I also chose a 16-year-old girl for my narrator because at that age the question of identity is especially important. The teenage years are the ones in which we try to figure out what kind of person we want to be. Coming-of-age / Young Adult novels tend to focus on defining moments, first moments, in a way that "adult" novels can't always do.

It was important to me to write the story from the point of view of a young person who still has an idealized view of the world, of herself, and of her place in that world. How will she react when that idealized view is fundamentally challenged? I wanted to pose the question, "If you're not who you thought you were, then who are you?"

Imogen as a narrator gave me the chance to do just that.


Sarah Skilton lives in Southern California with her husband and son. She has studied Tae Kwon Do and Hap Ki Do, both of which came in handy while writing her martial arts-themed debut YA novel, BRUISED, due out March 2013 from Amulet Books

Bruised is now available for pre-order from B&N or Amazon

You can also add it to your IndieBound Wish List, or GoodReads.

Monday, September 3, 2012

First Person or Third? Oh the Choices!

Today I'm pleased to have the amazing Martina Boone from Adventures in Children's and YA Publishing as a guest poster. And wow! I love this post. Read and learn my friends. :D

Leslie asked: When do you choose third person limited over first person?


When do you choose third person limited over first person?
This is a great question. The tempting, obvious answer is that third person limited makes it easy to develop additional points of view within a single novel, although you only have to look at Maggie Stiefvater's SCORPIO RACES for a great example of a book that uses multiple first person points of view. So the obvious answer isn't necessarily right. There aren't hard and fast rules anymore, especially in writing YA, which is one of the reasons that I think we are seeing such brilliant work by and for young adults. I think the true answer here is that you have to choose the point of view that speaks to you and feels natural to write while giving you the opportunity to show an attitude, a perspective or window on your fictional world, a true point of view.
That said, there are advantages to third person intimate. The first is that while it is more limited than third person omniscient, it is less limited than first person. Take a look at the following example from Scott Westerfeld's RISEN EMPIRE.
                  The five small craft passed from shadow, emerging with the suddenness of coins thrown into sunlight. The disks of their rotary wings shimmered in the air like heat, momentary rainbows flexing across prisms of motion. Master Pilot Jocim Marx noted with pleasure the precision of his squadron's formation. The other pilots' Intelligencer craft perfectly formed a square centered upon his own.
                  "Don't we look pretty?" Marx said.
                  "Pretty obvious, sir," Hendrik answered. She was the squadron's second pilot, and it was her job to worry.
                  "A little light won't hurt us," Marx said flatly. "The Rix haven't had time to build anything with eyes."
                  He said it not to remind Hendrik, who knew damn well, but to reassure their squadron-mates. The other three pilots were nervous; Marx could hear it in their silence. None of them had ever flown a mission of this importance before.
                  But then, who had?


This is a pretty classic third limited POV. We don't see anything from any other character's perspectives, so we aren't in omniscient POV, but at the same time, we have a little more room to provide details about the POV character. Consider that first paragraph rewritten in first person.

The five small craft passed from shadow, emerging with the suddenness of coins thrown into sunlight. The disks of their rotary wings shimmered in the air like heat, momentary rainbows flexing across prisms of motion. I noted with pleasure the precision of my squadron's formation. The other pilots' Intelligencer craft perfectly formed a square centered upon my own.

Look at the underlined pronoun compared to the underlined reference to the character's name and position in the third-person version. That could just as easily be a sliver of physical description as a name and title, or it could be an age, a brief revelation of character, etc. You don't have to find a way to work that into the character's thoughts or into dialogue. No angsting to find a way to uncliché a look in the mirror, in other words.


I like to think of POV as a camera lens. First person is like you've swallowed the camera. Third person intimate lets you zoom the camera in and out, not quite to bird's eye view, but somewhere in between. This is easiest and less noticeable at the beginning of the book as in the above example, but it also works beautifully at the beginning of a new chapter as in the following example from Kristin Cashore's GRACELING.

Last paragraph of Chapter One:
          Katsa shook herself in frustration. These thoughts were no help, and it was done now. They needed to get the grandfather to safety and warmth, and Raffin. She crouched lower in her saddle and urged her horse north.
First paragraph of Chapter Two:
          It was a land of seven kingdoms. Seven kingdoms, and seven thoroughly unpredictable kings. Why in the name of all that was reasonable would anyone kidnap Prince Tealiff, the father of the Lienid king? He was an old man. He had no power; he had no ambition; he wasn't even well. Word was, he spent most of his days sitting by the fire, or in the sun, looking out at the sea, playing with his great-grandchildren, and bothering no one.
This is clearly Katsa musing, but the author doesn't have to spend time establishing that it is Katsa thinking. It's more natural to provide information in third person than in first, where it almost always seems like a greater intrusion into the narrative.

Now, here's a more complicated example from Laini Taylor's DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE.

         Walking to school over the snow-muffled cobbles, Karou had no sinister premonitions about the day. It seemed like just another Monday, innocent but for its essential Mondayness, not to mention its Januaryness. It was cold, and it was dark—in the dead of winter the sun didn’t rise until eight—but it was also lovely. The falling snow and the early hour conspired to paint Prague ghostly, like a tintype photograph, all silver and haze.
          On the riverfront thoroughfare, trams and buses roared past, grounding the day in the twenty-first century, but on the quieter lanes, the wintry peace might have hailed from another time. Snow and stone and ghostlight, Karou’s own footsteps and the feather of steam from her coffee mug, and she was alone and adrift in mundane thoughts: school, errands. The occasional cheek-chew of bitterness when a pang of heartache intruded, as pangs of heartache will, but she pushed them aside, resolute, ready to be done with all that.
           She held her coffee mug in one hand and clutched her coat closed with the other. An artist’s portfolio was slung over her shoulder, and her hair—loose, long, and peacock blue—was gathering a lace of snowflakes.
          Just another day.
          And then.
          A snarl, rushing footfall, and she was seized from behind, pulled hard against a man’s broad chest as hands yanked her scarf askew and she felt teeth—teeth—against her neck.
         Nibbling.
         Her attacker was nibbling her.
         Annoyed, she tried to shake him off without spilling her coffee, but some sloshed out of her cup anyway, into the dirty snow.
        “Jesus, Kaz, get off,” she snapped, spinning to face her ex-boyfriend. The lamplight was soft on his beautiful face. Stupid beauty, she thought, shoving him away. Stupid face.
        “How did you know it was me?” he asked.
        “It’s always you. And it never works.”
        Kazimir made his living jumping out from behind things, and it frustrated him that he could never get even the slightest rise out of Karou. “You’re impossible to scare,” he complained, giving her the pout he thought was irresistible. Until recently, she wouldn’t have resisted it. She would have risen on tiptoe and licked his pout-puckered lower lip, licked it languorously and then taken it between her teeth and teased it before losing herself in a kiss that made her melt against him like sun-warmed honey.
           Those days were so over.

There's a lot in that passage to discuss and interpret. First, the opening in third gives the author the latitude to include some lovely voice and get us hooked. Imagine that in first person.

         Walking to school over the snow-muffled cobbles, I had no sinister premonitions about the day. It seemed like just another Monday, innocent but for its essential Mondayness, not to mention its Januaryness. It was cold, and it was dark—in the dead of winter the sun didn’t rise until eight—but it was also lovely. The falling snow and the early hour conspired to paint Prague ghostly, like a tintype photograph, all silver and haze.
          On the riverfront thoroughfare, trams and buses roared past, grounding the day in the twenty-first century, but on the quieter lanes, the wintry peace might have hailed from another time. Snow and stone and ghostlight, my own footsteps and the feather of steam from my coffee mug, and I was alone and adrift in mundane thoughts: school, errands. The occasional cheek-chew of bitterness when a pang of heartache intruded, as pangs of heartache will, but I pushed them aside, resolute, ready to be done with all that.

It still works right? But what do you think of this?

I held my coffee mug in one hand and clutched my coat closed with the other. An artist’s portfolio was slung over my shoulder, and my hair—loose, long, and peacock blue—was gathering a lace of snowflakes.

For me, it still works because I get such a strong sense that there is a storyteller, and I would assume that the storyteller is the main character looking back and speaking to the reader. What do you think of the effect? Does it work for you or not? Would it work in present tense? Not likely, right? How would it work within the context of your story? These are the kinds of things you need to consider.

Laini Taylor plays with the zoom option of third person a bit a few paragraphs down.

          Just another day.
          And then.

This feels very intimate to me. As if I'm right there with the character, although technically, it could just as easily be an omniscient narration. I'm not sure exactly where the lens is, but I feel like I'm right on top of Karou.
          A snarl, rushing footfall, and she was seized from behind, pulled hard against a man’s broad chest as hands yanked her scarf askew and she felt teeth—teeth—against her neck.
         Nibbling.
         Her attacker was nibbling her.

Note the "she felt" there? That's a filtering word that usually adds distance and pulls the lens away from the character. It's an interesting use here though. The repetition of the word teeth, and the repetition of nibbling further down, are both very intimate. They also allow the author to draw out the suspense a little, to create that possibility of fear for the reader that Kaz wanted Karou to experience. It could be rewritten this way:

          A snarl, rushing footfall, and she was seized from behind, pulled hard against a man’s broad chest as hands yanked her scarf askew and teeth nibbled—nibbled—against her neck.

Or:

          A snarl, rushing footfall, and she was seized from behind, pulled hard against a man’s broad chest as hands yanked her scarf askew and teeth—teeth—scraped against her neck.
                        Nibbling.
         Her attacker was nibbling her.

Which works best for you? Does the narration require the filter?

Maybe not, but it builds to the addition of another filter in the next paragraph down.

        “Jesus, Kaz, get off,” she snapped, spinning to face her ex-boyfriend. The lamplight was soft on his beautiful face. Stupid beauty, she thought, shoving him away. Stupid face.

"She thought" isn't strictly necessary. We would understand that "stupid beauty" was Karou's thought, but the lines flow more nicely, to me anyway, the way that the author put it. Sure, it could be rephrased:

“Jesus, Kaz, get off,” she snapped, spinning to face her ex-boyfriend. The lamplight was soft on his beautiful face. Stupid beauty. She shoved him away. Stupid face.

It works, although I think I personally would have to reverse "stupid beauty" with "stupid face" for flow, but it isn't necessarily an improvement either way, is it? In this case, the filter works, and again it builds to what happens a few paragraphs later.

        Kazimir made his living jumping out from behind things, and it frustrated him that he could never get even the slightest rise out of Karou. “You’re impossible to scare,” he complained, giving her the pout he thought was irresistible. Until recently, she wouldn’t have resisted it. She would have risen on tiptoe and licked his pout-puckered lower lip, licked it languorously and then taken it between her teeth and teased it before losing herself in a kiss that made her melt against him like sun-warmed honey.

Has the author hopped into Kazimir's head now? She's telling us what Kaz feels, but we barely notice it because she zoomed the lens out a bit with the filter words. Also the fact that we're in third and the way she has set things up so far makes it possible that these are actually Karou's thoughts. We get Karou's reaction to Kaz's assumptions immediately.

Until recently, she wouldn’t have resisted it. She would have risen on tiptoe and licked his pout-puckered lower lip, licked it languorously and then taken it between her teeth and teased it before losing herself in a kiss that made her melt against him like sun-warmed honey.

And here's the kicker, the payoff:

Those days were so over.

That puts us right back there with Karou again, up close and intimate.

Third person intimate is a great choice when you want to manipulate the camera, and the reader, and give yourself more control of your story, but it requires you to be a little more proficient with the differences in POV than you have to be in first person POV. It's easier to fall into the trap of headhopping with third person intimate. On the other hand, it isn't as obvious when you make a mistake as it would be if you were in first person and suddenly hopped into the head of another character.